Wednesday, November 26, 2008

happy turkey day..

Well this has week has been a big bummer lets hope next week is better.. we went to the free clinic for us the adults.. woo hoo was that fun.. when it was my turn to watch the kids i got a baby that pooped molten lava from her plummer crack that dribbled down and into the kid kart, they had no changing station so i just had to throw her blanket over her to change her and 1 pack of wipes later she and the stroller was clean..then i put her in her car seat twenty minutes later she wakes up and pukes everywhere.. so now all i have left for her to were is a jacket and a blanket.. it like 40 degrees outside..yea that was fun.. my hubby is really depressed i'm trying to stay positive about things but its hard to be when your partner is so down.. talking of partner.. tomorow is our 9 year anniversary on turkey day.. woo hoo guess well have to go to burger king and celebrate.. thats how poor we were then we got a burger through the drive though.. wooo FANCY.. well Ive applied for an emergency assistance grant to move on.. lets hope it goes through because right now were not doing so well..pray pray pray.. happy turkey day everyone love your family and friends.. its not easy just having a family of 4 and no one else..

Monday, November 24, 2008


ok big black cloud in 30 seconds. 2 transmissions blown. our dog of 12 years got ran over while our daughter was in the nicu for 5 weeks. husband unemployed for 5 months. lost our home our cars. had to relocate to a whole new state for a job. still 4 months later have not got work from these people. my baby has chronic ear infections, my son has not had insurance for 5 months. we are a lil late on our rent and we get evicted.. having to move and pay for christmas in 1 month.. priceless

Ok here we go again..we are 100.. dollars late on our rent.. we owe 2 $35 late fee's. and $300. toward pets fee's which we are supposed to make payments on till paid off.. so basically we are 100 behind on this month and she is evicting us..Im just freakin speachless..I have been so patient with these people its not funny.. Its new construction so i've tried to be patient.. we have no screens on our windows our yard is not finished it needs to be graded cleaned mowed etc.. these people mow the lawn once a freakin month.. I have pics to prove it it literally gets three feet tall.. our front door is not to code its like a 2 foot drop off.. etc etc etc..but have I said a word.. now on top of not being able to get my kids anything for christmas I have to find somewhere to freakin move..unbelievable..

we moved out here because sears windows hired jj but he has not got one job from them..thanks sears..
took emma to the doct again today and she has a ear wooo hoo that ear tube is working great..

So im not normally not a begger but if you have family or friends who donate money at christmas..tell them about my family.. I have added a donate now button..if not its cool.. i hate to be a begger anyways.. I just dont know, what were gonna my favorite word will i will end with is blaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

still not feeling better

well this sinusitus stuff sucks all to heck..Shes coughed so much her ear, the ear she got the ear tube in has started bleeding..also her mickey has been having blood around it.. her antibiotics has given her horrible diarea. so now shes on clear fluids so were back to the docs tomorow for some new med.. I hope all this coughing and stuff doesnt mess up her ear tube.. poor lil thing is pitiful..only thing that makes her feel a lil better is veggie tales..

Saturday, November 22, 2008

cough cough cough

Emma has been fighting a cold for a week now..since her ear tube surgery it has gotten way worse.. all she does is cough she cant sleep or anything..its so pitiful.. and she doesnt know how to cover her mouth so with every cough we are showered.. I took her to the er today and they said she has sinusitus nothing they can do about her cough..they gave her some antibiotics.. and said to put some vicks on her bib.. ok i just dont see that working..I feel like taking someone hostage and making them give her some cough syrup..the way she is coughing i would have guess wooping cough or something..poor girl..she is so upset its making her mad..please pray its better soon.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

ear tube surgery

well ear tube surgery went great.. no even 5 minutes.. im so glad i pushed for the tube.. she has had 3 infections in 3 months.. plus they kept saying it wasnt infected that it just had fluid built up. but when they released the fluid it was all kind of nasty.. so she is probably going to be feeling so much better.. on the good note her gait trainer was approved. so whats it is in hand im gonna start the battle of the beds.. I cant get the one I truley want just a small one but at least it will be a bed.. she coughs and gags alot at bedtime,so i put 2 pillows under her head and one under her but to hold her and her brace in place.. so every 2 hours or so i have to keep repositioning her... oh did i mention she nows sleeps in my bed so i dont have to keep going accross the room and fixing her..although we both do like the cuddling.. her pt, speech are going great she is taking the girls good..cant wait to get in feeding clinic..well gotta go feed her..

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

new pics and emma's teeth

here's some new pics.. I love the ones of emmas teeth.. it took months to get those teeth in a picture.. thanks to bubba i finally got one.. emma's having her ear tube surgery tomorow please pray for her.

Friday, November 14, 2008

update on swallow study

emma did great on the swallow study. i dont know if she was starved but she almost seem to like that nasty stuff.. no aspirating.. she swallowed good. but she does not know how to chew she just swallows chunks.. also liquid she tried to take in but couldnt get it in.. so feeding clinic here we come..

on the bad news my rent is late again. they jipped his paycheck so now the landlord is pissed and wants even more money..i understand where she comes from but i dont have to like it.. shes not real yea life or should our situation sucks again. how can you go from loosing a house and 2 cars, being unemployed for 5 months. to relocating on $9 an hour and still make it. its just disgusting.. my depression is in full bloom..blaaaaaaaaaa

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I'm so tired of

So I figure i would get some frustrations out with an Im so tired of list

(1) of feeling sorry for myself!
(2) I'm tired of being poor!
(3) I'm tired of not being able to pay my rent!
(4) I'm tired of second hand things for my baby..she deserves a new stroller,feeding chair, clothes, etc.
(5) I'm tired of hearing bless your heart, in a I feel so sorry for sort of way.
(6) I'm tired of my husband working his but off to get no where in life.
(7) I'm tired of having to say I don't have any money.
(8) I'm tired of thinking if i pay this shut off notice will i be able to buy grocheries or gas.
(9) I'm tired of not having any clothes and being fat.
(10)I'm tired of not just being able to live a normal life and pay our bills without worry.
(11) i'm tired of depressing you nice folks who read my blog. I wouldnt blame you if you deleted me..
(12)i'm tired of having to say ok i'll get a free gift for my child for christmas
(13) i'm tired of seeing happy people everywhere and wish we could join the party.
(14)i'm tired of my son being lonely because we moved him from all his friends
(15) I'm tired of not having family or friends or a support system, I read so many blogs and people really have friends and family and support..yes it is out there.
(16)i'm tired of laying in bed everynight and dreaming of extreme home makeover and how i wish they'd come yell name.
(17)i'm tired of seeing others get things for there child and my child get nothing.
(18)im tired of not being able to go to church because i cant afford 10%
You know dont get me wrong I love life, my life my family. I just want better for all of us. I want us to be happy.
Emma has her swallow study tomorow please pray that it goes ok.. I hate going into nashville its a crazy town to drive in..

Saturday, November 8, 2008

emma in the gait trainer

this is emma in her walker we got to borrow from pt.. she is truckin and this is her 2nd day in it.. she is so gonna walk..

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


we had a great time getting out and trick or treating.. we did have to do a last minute costume change.. but it worked out well.. nic said it was the best halloween ever.. so update on emma her hip is doing great we dont have to go back for 6 months now.. and she has a swallow study on the 14th.. and on the 19 she is having an ear tube get put in.. other than that shes doing great she eats about a jar of baby food a day now.. also if you can pray for my friend michelle.. shes having surgery on the 6 to remove some cancer from her neck.. please pray for her she a big fight on her hands..

Saturday, November 1, 2008

my heart breaks for lil recesse

Today I found out that sweet lil recesse has passed and gone to be in heaven. My heart is broken and I've never even met any of them.. Its a weird world that we make friends on the computer and never even get to meet.. Recesse has emanuel syndrome like emma so this is really just breakin my heart. I cant even imagine what they must be feeling. again im grateful for emma and all her miracles.. yet It makes me scared because do we really know how long we will all be here.. so many things have scared me lately with emanuel. I try to be happy always but if i truley think about the future its so scarey because no one knows.. so i will leave you with a poem in memory of sweet recesse.. did i mention she passed on her one year birthday...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BABY GIRL.. i will get to meet you later in life youve touched my heart like you will never know..
"I'll lend to you for a little time,
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to love while she lives
And mourn for when she's dead."

"It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call her back,
Take care of her for me?"

"She'll bring her charms to gladden you
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have these precious memories
To comfort you through grief."

"I cannot promise she will stay
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn."

"I've looked this world over,
In my search for teachers true.
In the crowds of this great land,
I have selected you."

"Now will you give her all your love
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take her back again?"

It seems to me I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joys a child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run."

"We'll shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay."

"And should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."

© Edgar A. Guest


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Emma in the nicu

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