home at last

Yes its only been one day but god it feels like longer.. is doing great today.. surgery went really good got her cleft fixed for now, got un tongue tied, and got a priacular ear pit removed... i was not looking for ward to it but im glad its over with.. i was all brave and strong until i seen her.. i swear i about passed out.. sweat just started poaring off of me..i was burning up and for a minute i had to walk away.. its so hard to see your baby like that.. i tried to prepare myself with stuff online but its just diffent when its your own.. she did not like being drugged at all she was crabby,pukey hot all last night.. but shes feeling good now so now its mommies turn to take a nap...thanks for caring for emma and your well wishes

time is here

well tonights the night for the sleep over really not looking forward to it.. jj's in a bad mood giving me bad mojo... emma is getting ready to stop eating at 7:00 till after the surgery.. so everyone say prayers... pray for emma to be well and to be back to her normal bubbly self, pray that i dont loose it and cry all day.. pray that nicks sleep over goes very smoothley... pray that the grouch gets over his mood.. just pray that the surgery will go smoothley... I will try to update as soon as I can.. oh emma tried a squiggles stander today.. she stood in it for like 20 minutes...I swear she grew like 3 inches in it, i was so proud, she loved it and the man who delivered it... so she will probabley be getting one, unless she improves on her standing, etc before it is approved...well think of us..

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

getting nervous

We'll got 4 days to go and i'm getting so nervous.. plus nick is gonna have his first sleep over the night before.. so my nerves are really gonna be tore up.. I know my kid is almost 8 and still hasnt slept anywhere yet.. i inhereted my moms paranoid genes...well im attaching a pic of emma in her new goodwill table.. thank god for goodwill...lol..

growing up just a lil?

My lil man may be growing up just a lil.. he always gets the same haircut year after year. so he decided he was gonna get a cool hair cut.. but his hair grows funny so the argued for awhile then he started to cry but i want style.. so we picked on out that he agreed on and now hes cool he can spike it or faux hawk it. hes gonna be stuck up like his daddy..owell nothing else going on except life and wanting to torture the hubby but we wont go into that... owell later

cleft surgery

my life before mexico

Comment Graphics and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com

another darn good day

well woke up about 4 in the morning to might a big dead mouse in my kichen floor.. ekkkkkkk so i go get the dh to come and get so he flushed it.. grose... just grose.. then the one in my car we cought him to.. my son nick thought it was the coolest and of cours wanting to keep it.. these darn movies making kids want rats.. athough on csi the scientist had a ear growing of the but of a rat.. it was grose.. so when emma needs any ear were going a different route..damn i hate mice.. beatiful day today. nic and brian made a hill slide off emmas wheechair ramp.. all the neighbor kids love it...ow well hope all is well in the world today. pray for jackie who is sick.. pray for michelle who has cancer and cant get any help.. pray for emma that her surgery will go great.. she will heal quickly and get back to being her lil emma nu self. love to all...

not a good day until now

well ive had a bad week... Got a mouse in my car.. so disgusting.. i was gonna try and brave it and go to walmart. so i put rubber bands around my ankles until I got to the car. I about had a panick attack just thinking of it running up my leg. so i didnt go.. then along with all of our other money problems.. our checking accounts been levied.. wooo hoooo.. lovin it.. now the husband has gone to get a check to replace what they took. now hes broke down. and his phone is dead. so hopefully he gets home ok...oh yea did I mention my fat but almost got stuck on the kiddie slide at the school.. now that you all know my pain pray i have a better day... at least emma is happy she found a new toy.. so cute she is...

Isabella fight against UnitedHealthCare

please pass this around isabella is a precious child and needs help...

new milk aaaaaaaaakkkkkkkk

ok so the new milk is not working she only had 2 oz throuh one and maybe 1 in another.. like 3 hours into it puking diarea with mucus in it.. this changing over stuff is for the birds man.. wish the had a list or something.. i dont know im tired and i smell like puke.. but im going to bed any ways.. wish me luck and pray emma feels better tomorow and we find her some new milk real soon..

this is my favorite

HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

A meeting was held quite far from Earth

It was time again for another birth.

Said the Angels to the Lord above –

“This special child will need much love.

“Her progress may be very slow

“Accomplishment she may not show.

“And she'll require extra care

“From the folks she meets down there.

“She may not run or laugh or play

“Her thoughts may seem quite far away

“So many times she will be labeled

“'different,' 'helpless' and disabled.

“So, let's be careful where she's sent.

“We want her life to be content.

“Please, Lord, find the parents who

“Will do a special job for you.

“They will not realize right away

“The leading role they are asked to play.

“But with this child sent from above

“Comes stronger faith, and richer love.

“And soon they'll know the privilege given

“In caring for their gift from heaven.

“Their precious charge, so meek and mild

“Is heaven's very special child.”

stolen from makilys page

JOHN 9: 1-3
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.
His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."


how beatiful is that...

> What Makes a Mother
> Jennifer Wasik
> In memory of Zachery Wasik
> 1/29/98-1/29/98
>
> I thought of you and closed my eyes
> And prayed to God today.
> I asked what makes a Mother
> And I know I heard him say.
> A Mother has a baby
> This we know is true.
> But God can you be a Mother
> When your baby's not with you?
> Yes, you can He replied
> With confidence in His voice
> I give many women babies
> When they leave is not their choice.
> Some I send for a lifetime
> And others for a day.
> And some I send to feel your womb
> But there's no need to stay
> I just don't understand this, God
> I want my baby here
> He took a breath and cleared His throat
> And then I saw a tear.
> I wish I could show you
> What your child is doing today.
> If you could see your child smile
> With other children and say
> "We go to earth to learn our lessons
> Of love and life and fear.
> My Mommy loved me oh so much
> I got to come straight here.
> I feel so lucky to have a Mom
> Who had so much love for me
> I learned my lesson very quickly
> My mommy set me free.
> I miss my Mommy oh so much
> But I visit her each day.
> When she goes to sleep
> On her pillow's where I lay.
> I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
> And whisper in her ear.
> Mommy don't be sad today
> I'm your baby and I'm here."
> So you see my dear sweet one
> Your children are ok
> Your babies are here in My home
> And this is where they'll stay.
> They'll wait for you with Me
> Until your lesson is through.
> And on the day that you come home
> They'll be at the gates for you.
> So now you see what makes a Mother
> It's the feeling in your heart.
> It's the love you had so much of
> Right from the very start.
> Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,
> Until their time is done.
> They'll be up here with Me one day
> And you know you're the best one!
>
>
>
>

for all the special moms

Butterfly Kisses


"I'll lend to you for a little time,
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to love while she lives
And mourn for when she's dead."

"It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call her back,
Take care of her for me?"

"She'll bring her charms to gladden you
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have these precious memories
To comfort you through grief."

"I cannot promise she will stay
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn."

"I've looked this world over,
In my search for teachers true.
In the crowds of this great land,
I have selected you."

"Now will you give her all your love
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take her back again?"



It seems to me I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joys a child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run."

"We'll shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay."

"And should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."

© Edgar A. Guest



/

words of a poet

Well today has been a good day. Sometimes when we go out in public I like to watch peoples faces. when i'm alone i just feel insecure when people look at me, and think why are they looking at me. you dont get a whole lot of smiles these days.. but when I have emma with me. I can see people look at her, and look at her ear. I know the wonder in there eye. they look at me as if the've been caught. and i just want to explain to them its ok and tell them about her. but instead I just smile, I get a million smiles when she is with me. I dont know if its for wondering about her or feeling sorry for me. but only if they could know her the way that we do.

she is so smart and funny and happy. yes she only has one ear. but she is a miracle. I feel so inspired today i visited a blog. she has been where I have been in pain over loss in pregnancy. but this lady has faith, and words that I have never experienced. Its as if reading a poem, even better than a harry potter book. maybe im just mooshey today I dont know. she recently lost a child I hope and pray that she will feel better soon.

well cleft surgery #1 is may 30th not looking forward to that. we dont have a big support system over here. we live away from our family so im hoping some neighbors will keep nic for us..well keep emma in your thoughts and prayers. and visit this womens blog she is an inspiration.. http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com

surgery scheduled

may 30 is the day people.. totally freakin out like it was tomorow or something. heres some new pics..

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surgery almost scheduled

well its either going to be may 30 or june 5.. im hoping may because school gets out on june 5 maybe a neighbor will step up and help. i dont know.. i sure dont want to take him with us.. he is way to hyper and unruley.. this day is going to be so stressful i dont know how im going to sleep or anything.. weve had a great year with emma. no hospital visits, except the abr witch they put her to sleep for.. but nothing serious.. so this is going to be a change..

so have any of you used the snuggle wraps, for the arms for cleft repair.. my doc says tube socks and I just dont think emma will appreciate that to much she is a hot flasher like her mommy.. well guess i will go drown in my sorrows over this.. i know its a good thing but its still scarey..

my sweet lil man?

this is a letter nic wrote emma when she was in the nicu, just thought i would share it. we seriously couldnt read it aloud for like 2 weeks, my boy is so sweet, hes just got some spoiled, and jeolusy issues..

old friends

ive talked to some old friends the past few days, 1 is more like a sister.. they both need some prayers.. one has really bad lyme disease and has not felt good at all for a year.. the other is a mom with four kids who just found out she has cancer.. she has really had a time in life. one of her children had cancer I believe it to 2 times. another one has a sydrome.. she is such a brave person and i cant believe this is happening to her.. I really think us california girls just have issues. were all social anxietied, depressed, dont know what to do with ourselves crazy people.. maybe it was the calif. water to close to mexico..

any how my brain is just going and going.. im crazy i tell ya.. emma is only 1, she could walk or crawl i dont know.. but i am obsesvilly looking on the internet for wheelchairs/strollers., standers, gait trainers, you name it i look guess its good were poor cuz our lil trailer would be full of stuff. i just dont know the age what age do you start to look. i think if i had a map on the wall with dates i would be better.. im half crazy ocd add.. i cant clean i get to unfocused then i want to reaarange crazy i tell ya... owell of to bed to let my head slow down some... oh yeaa.

emmas good.. hemaglobin good got checked at wic today.. almost 22 pounds 30 and half inches tall.. shes a big girl.. this week has been hell TGIF i have doc appt for emma all week and an iep for my son.. crazy oh to be young and skinny again.