Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm back with some new pics

well christmas went pretty well.. were all moved and loving the new place.. got lots of new pics.. if you have time to watch the montage at the end is a small video of emma in a johny jump up.. she was hillarious in it.. when you see her move side to side thats when she was cracking up.. shes giggled but never has she ever had a good gut laugh it was great she had us all crying it was so funny.. so emma got on tv for like a second.. I knew they would cut us.. we are just not camera people we freeze up and its just not good.. so hope everyone is good.. now watch my video.. heres a picture also of emma getting Jr asparagus from veggie tales.. she loves them so much..

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

so excited for emma

well i have to edit this update..jj's work hired him sooner than we thought.. so thats means no check for 2 weeks. we litterally have 1 dollar when it rains it pours..blaaaaa

we went to occupational therapy today and found out someone has adopted all the special needs kids and got them a bike for christmas.. I am so excited for her this is one item I wanted for her.. can you believe someone would do that just awsome.. her new walker is going to be in today so we can pick them both up hopefully on thur.. hes a picture from elfe your self.. i love that site.. i know a lil cheesy..

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A ray of hope in our luck..

Well let me start off by saying wooo hoo im at 100 posts.. I know who cares.. anywho.. today has been very overwhelming.. The emergency grant that i am recieving has truly saved us.. not only have they approved it but they are going to pay 2 months rent, security deposit, and start our utilites.. Then a very nice person offered for me and my family to stay with them through the holidays.. unbeliavable kindness these people have shown my family. oh its not over.. JJ'S work wants to buy the kids each a toy, then another lady gave jj 3 $15 gift cards...and of course you mommy..:) its going to be a hectic time around here, moving, packing, school, therapies...nicholas should get in to see the specialist soon.. I hope he really needs his meds.. a few years ago i was totally against them but now.. I see the diffence. we are looking into him maybe having odd.. its opositional defiance disorder.. who knows though.. i cant even ask him to brush his teeth without a battle.. life is very stressful around here.. thanks for all your support to the few that read this.. I know I have whined alot lately but maybe next year i will live up to my name and be a JOY.. If you guys have a united cerabal palsey in your state look them up.. they have so much stuff to offer people..

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

moving at christmas!

Ok so we went to court today.. I basically got kicked out because emma would not be quite.. my non verbal child picks today to be but the judge sided with them..and we have to be out in 10 days..they couldnt even figure out how much we owed them, dumb ass's.. jj had to explain it over and over basically we owe them 400 for dec.. which means we didnt even owe for last month.. its all very confusing.. but the good news is our emergency housing grant has gone through and hopefully we will get that real soon since we only have 10 days.. hopefully the place we want will let us probably not now since we have a evict on us.. dont know how all this works im new to this looser life i
well emma is doing really good at pt..I have to start brush therapy on her.. its really strange..she hates anyone touching her upper half.. so this should help with that.. but from what im hearing she has basically failed speech therapy.. they had already just switched to finding a communication device. but she only wants to beat on things and she has to learn to manipulate things and so far she has not got it.. so we might just switch to feeding therapy... im probably gonna have my phone and stuff cut off in a couple of days so i will be inspired to pack again.. im posting some pre chistmas pics free food and bowling..woohooo.. so christmas might come next year for us.. so pray for us and well pray for your this season..

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

happy turkey day..

Well this has week has been a big bummer lets hope next week is better.. we went to the free clinic for us the adults.. woo hoo was that fun.. when it was my turn to watch the kids i got a baby that pooped molten lava from her plummer crack that dribbled down and into the kid kart, they had no changing station so i just had to throw her blanket over her to change her and 1 pack of wipes later she and the stroller was clean..then i put her in her car seat twenty minutes later she wakes up and pukes everywhere.. so now all i have left for her to were is a jacket and a blanket.. it like 40 degrees outside..yea that was fun.. my hubby is really depressed i'm trying to stay positive about things but its hard to be when your partner is so down.. talking of partner.. tomorow is our 9 year anniversary on turkey day.. woo hoo guess well have to go to burger king and celebrate.. thats how poor we were then we got a burger through the drive though.. wooo FANCY.. well Ive applied for an emergency assistance grant to move on.. lets hope it goes through because right now were not doing so well..pray pray pray.. happy turkey day everyone love your family and friends.. its not easy just having a family of 4 and no one else..

Monday, November 24, 2008


ok big black cloud in 30 seconds. 2 transmissions blown. our dog of 12 years got ran over while our daughter was in the nicu for 5 weeks. husband unemployed for 5 months. lost our home our cars. had to relocate to a whole new state for a job. still 4 months later have not got work from these people. my baby has chronic ear infections, my son has not had insurance for 5 months. we are a lil late on our rent and we get evicted.. having to move and pay for christmas in 1 month.. priceless

Ok here we go again..we are 100.. dollars late on our rent.. we owe 2 $35 late fee's. and $300. toward pets fee's which we are supposed to make payments on till paid off.. so basically we are 100 behind on this month and she is evicting us..Im just freakin speachless..I have been so patient with these people its not funny.. Its new construction so i've tried to be patient.. we have no screens on our windows our yard is not finished it needs to be graded cleaned mowed etc.. these people mow the lawn once a freakin month.. I have pics to prove it it literally gets three feet tall.. our front door is not to code its like a 2 foot drop off.. etc etc etc..but have I said a word.. now on top of not being able to get my kids anything for christmas I have to find somewhere to freakin move..unbelievable..

we moved out here because sears windows hired jj but he has not got one job from them..thanks sears..
took emma to the doct again today and she has a ear wooo hoo that ear tube is working great..

So im not normally not a begger but if you have family or friends who donate money at christmas..tell them about my family.. I have added a donate now button..if not its cool.. i hate to be a begger anyways.. I just dont know, what were gonna my favorite word will i will end with is blaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

still not feeling better

well this sinusitus stuff sucks all to heck..Shes coughed so much her ear, the ear she got the ear tube in has started bleeding..also her mickey has been having blood around it.. her antibiotics has given her horrible diarea. so now shes on clear fluids so were back to the docs tomorow for some new med.. I hope all this coughing and stuff doesnt mess up her ear tube.. poor lil thing is pitiful..only thing that makes her feel a lil better is veggie tales..

Saturday, November 22, 2008

cough cough cough

Emma has been fighting a cold for a week now..since her ear tube surgery it has gotten way worse.. all she does is cough she cant sleep or anything..its so pitiful.. and she doesnt know how to cover her mouth so with every cough we are showered.. I took her to the er today and they said she has sinusitus nothing they can do about her cough..they gave her some antibiotics.. and said to put some vicks on her bib.. ok i just dont see that working..I feel like taking someone hostage and making them give her some cough syrup..the way she is coughing i would have guess wooping cough or something..poor girl..she is so upset its making her mad..please pray its better soon.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

ear tube surgery

well ear tube surgery went great.. no even 5 minutes.. im so glad i pushed for the tube.. she has had 3 infections in 3 months.. plus they kept saying it wasnt infected that it just had fluid built up. but when they released the fluid it was all kind of nasty.. so she is probably going to be feeling so much better.. on the good note her gait trainer was approved. so whats it is in hand im gonna start the battle of the beds.. I cant get the one I truley want just a small one but at least it will be a bed.. she coughs and gags alot at bedtime,so i put 2 pillows under her head and one under her but to hold her and her brace in place.. so every 2 hours or so i have to keep repositioning her... oh did i mention she nows sleeps in my bed so i dont have to keep going accross the room and fixing her..although we both do like the cuddling.. her pt, speech are going great she is taking the girls good..cant wait to get in feeding clinic..well gotta go feed her..

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

new pics and emma's teeth

here's some new pics.. I love the ones of emmas teeth.. it took months to get those teeth in a picture.. thanks to bubba i finally got one.. emma's having her ear tube surgery tomorow please pray for her.

Friday, November 14, 2008

update on swallow study

emma did great on the swallow study. i dont know if she was starved but she almost seem to like that nasty stuff.. no aspirating.. she swallowed good. but she does not know how to chew she just swallows chunks.. also liquid she tried to take in but couldnt get it in.. so feeding clinic here we come..

on the bad news my rent is late again. they jipped his paycheck so now the landlord is pissed and wants even more money..i understand where she comes from but i dont have to like it.. shes not real yea life or should our situation sucks again. how can you go from loosing a house and 2 cars, being unemployed for 5 months. to relocating on $9 an hour and still make it. its just disgusting.. my depression is in full bloom..blaaaaaaaaaa

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I'm so tired of

So I figure i would get some frustrations out with an Im so tired of list

(1) of feeling sorry for myself!
(2) I'm tired of being poor!
(3) I'm tired of not being able to pay my rent!
(4) I'm tired of second hand things for my baby..she deserves a new stroller,feeding chair, clothes, etc.
(5) I'm tired of hearing bless your heart, in a I feel so sorry for sort of way.
(6) I'm tired of my husband working his but off to get no where in life.
(7) I'm tired of having to say I don't have any money.
(8) I'm tired of thinking if i pay this shut off notice will i be able to buy grocheries or gas.
(9) I'm tired of not having any clothes and being fat.
(10)I'm tired of not just being able to live a normal life and pay our bills without worry.
(11) i'm tired of depressing you nice folks who read my blog. I wouldnt blame you if you deleted me..
(12)i'm tired of having to say ok i'll get a free gift for my child for christmas
(13) i'm tired of seeing happy people everywhere and wish we could join the party.
(14)i'm tired of my son being lonely because we moved him from all his friends
(15) I'm tired of not having family or friends or a support system, I read so many blogs and people really have friends and family and support..yes it is out there.
(16)i'm tired of laying in bed everynight and dreaming of extreme home makeover and how i wish they'd come yell name.
(17)i'm tired of seeing others get things for there child and my child get nothing.
(18)im tired of not being able to go to church because i cant afford 10%
You know dont get me wrong I love life, my life my family. I just want better for all of us. I want us to be happy.
Emma has her swallow study tomorow please pray that it goes ok.. I hate going into nashville its a crazy town to drive in..

Saturday, November 8, 2008

emma in the gait trainer

this is emma in her walker we got to borrow from pt.. she is truckin and this is her 2nd day in it.. she is so gonna walk..

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


we had a great time getting out and trick or treating.. we did have to do a last minute costume change.. but it worked out well.. nic said it was the best halloween ever.. so update on emma her hip is doing great we dont have to go back for 6 months now.. and she has a swallow study on the 14th.. and on the 19 she is having an ear tube get put in.. other than that shes doing great she eats about a jar of baby food a day now.. also if you can pray for my friend michelle.. shes having surgery on the 6 to remove some cancer from her neck.. please pray for her she a big fight on her hands..

Saturday, November 1, 2008

my heart breaks for lil recesse

Today I found out that sweet lil recesse has passed and gone to be in heaven. My heart is broken and I've never even met any of them.. Its a weird world that we make friends on the computer and never even get to meet.. Recesse has emanuel syndrome like emma so this is really just breakin my heart. I cant even imagine what they must be feeling. again im grateful for emma and all her miracles.. yet It makes me scared because do we really know how long we will all be here.. so many things have scared me lately with emanuel. I try to be happy always but if i truley think about the future its so scarey because no one knows.. so i will leave you with a poem in memory of sweet recesse.. did i mention she passed on her one year birthday...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BABY GIRL.. i will get to meet you later in life youve touched my heart like you will never know..
"I'll lend to you for a little time,
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to love while she lives
And mourn for when she's dead."

"It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call her back,
Take care of her for me?"

"She'll bring her charms to gladden you
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have these precious memories
To comfort you through grief."

"I cannot promise she will stay
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn."

"I've looked this world over,
In my search for teachers true.
In the crowds of this great land,
I have selected you."

"Now will you give her all your love
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take her back again?"

It seems to me I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joys a child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run."

"We'll shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay."

"And should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."

© Edgar A. Guest

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I guess there are some nice people

I just found this video, these people do FREE surgeries to people with facial deformities such as microtia which emma has how cool is that..

emma finally started pt and she hates it.. she got all this little petici i i dont know how to spell that..aka lil broken vessels under her eyes. from crying she a breath holder.. poor thing..

Sunday, October 12, 2008

hope you like the new pics and video.. hopefully shell get a walker soon.. shes killin our backs..

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

disappointed again by the government

You know we had so much bad luck lately it just doesnt want to go just so disapointed with every thing.. my husband was unemployed for almost 5 months.. we lost our house our cars.. but we couldnt get help because he unemployed to long.. now hes been working for a month and a half at 8 dollars an hour now we make to much money.. we cant even get a medical card for my son we make to much money..oh but we can get 68 dollars in food stamps.. thanks freakin govt.. i love my kids and my life but god why does everything have to be so hard all the time.. can you tell im not on my zoloft.. cant afford to get it.. I hate the freakin govt..

having A wow is me day..

well we go to the gi doct..get lost, dont use yahoo maps they may look cool with there lil a b and c places to add yea freakin right.. so we get the hospital theres no were to park no were to turn around it took 10 min.. for this preppy dude to turn his rich, huge gas guzzling thing around.. so by the time we sign in we are 31 minutes late.. now this was an hour and a half drive.. after sitting there for 30 min.. they inform me i was late and cant see my day was already shitty.. so i feel the mist coming so I just bolt.. then get my reinforcements the hubby.. im sorry sir you were 30 minutes late.. i swear can anything just go our way just once.. so ssi approved to get a used car.. so i put our rent money up thinking we would get it right back.. ya.. the govt doesnt care about me..

on the good note wish you could see emma walk.. i have to hold her under her arms but she takes of on a stride.. she loves it..we even do it right before bath time we call the naked walk.. shes too cute.. maybe we should get her 2 walkers one for clothes and one for naked well nics eye appt is tomorow lets hope were not late for that.. did i mention i want to nominate myself for extreme makeover home edition.. im tired, lonely, sad, mad, glad..wish i had my mom and sucks if you dont have people around you.. you end up feeling like some poor old reclus that has that anxiety about leaving the house.. you end up bying 2 new shirts every six months.. the same shirt different color.. not thinking at the time..that when everyone sees you there gonna think that poor lady only has one shirt.. and i do this to myself every six months.. then what makes it even worse is when some 80 year old lady next to ya has your shirt on... can i just say i need a new life... i need extreme home makeover, extremem makeover,what not to where,and that show that declutters for you.. please...

Sunday, October 5, 2008

interesting article on the 22 chromosome

I havent had nicholas's genes tested yet.. for his fear of needles but if he does have the traslocation this is promising news for him..

New York (MedscapeWire) Jun 27 — Chromosome 22, one of the smallest human chromosomes, is known to be a hot spot for disease, including heart defects, leukemias, and schizophrenia. Genetics researchers at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia in Pennsylvania are teasing out details of how that chromosome's chemical structure renders it particularly vulnerable to defects and rearrangements that may result in diseases. Their latest study focuses on a rare inherited condition called +der(22) syndrome that includes mental retardation, a heart defect, a small chin, and a cleft or abnormal palate. The researchers described unusual, unstable DNA structures in parents of children with the disease.
Reporting in the July issue of Human Molecular Genetics, the research team isolated specific DNA sequences at the junctions where broken pieces of chromosomes 11 and 22 attach to each other in a rearrangement called a translocation. The researchers found unusually frequent sequences of adenine and thymine, 2 of the 4 chemical letters in the genetic alphabet that spells out the body's blueprint. These repetitive stretches are called AT-rich repeats and are arranged in an unusual configuration called a palindrome.

"These palindromic sequences are unstable, and allow us to propose a model for how this translocation occurs," said Beverly S. Emanuel, PhD, chief of human genetics and molecular biology at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and senior author of the paper.

"This model of the disease's origin in chromosome structure is important not only for understanding +der(22) syndrome, but also may assist us in understanding other translocations," said Dr. Emanuel. Other diseases associated with such translocations in chromosomes include certain types of cancer and other birth defects.

The model draws on the fact that in other organisms, unstable palindromic DNA sequences are inclined to protrude from the DNA double helix in fragile structures called hairpins. These hairpins are weak points where the DNA can break and rearrange, causing abnormalities of the chromosomes.

When chromosomes 11 and 22 break, then exchange genetic material in a balanced translocation, the genes retain their normal function and a person carrying the abnormal chromosomes has no symptoms of disease. However, that person's child runs a risk of suffering from +der(22) syndrome if he or she inherits an extra copy of one of the rearranged chromosomes. Further studies in Dr. Emanuel's laboratory are developing a sensitive diagnostic test to help parents who carry the translocation ensure that their future children do not have the syndrome.

Unlike more random chromosome translocations, the translocation between chromosomes 11 and 22 occurs time and again in a population, suggesting that the specific locations where the chromosomes break are structurally unstable. Disorders based in peculiarities of chromosome architecture fall under a relatively new concept in medicine: "genomic disease." Such diseases originate in the structure of the genome — the full complement of genes carried by a set of chromosomes.

The current study of chromosome structure builds on more than 20 years of research conducted by the team on chromosome 22, as well as the team's participation in the federally sponsored Human Genome Project, the multicenter effort to compile the order of the 2 billion DNA bases of all 23 human chromosomes. The research group provided genetic sequences for the Human Genome Project's announcement in December that chromosome 22 was the first human chromosome to be sequenced.

Monday, September 29, 2008


today I am reminded that we all need to hug,kiss, and love our children. just how they are.. so many times people, me take for granted life and the life of our children. I am a regular member on a chat room type place, its a place were moms came come together and chat about there special needs child. sometimes even get free or reduced medical supplies. if it werent for this place emma would have no feeding tube extentions and for me I would have no many people to chat with.. any how.. I made a friend on there, not a close friend but we have chatted. her baby has passed on.. I hope the mom is ok.. i just feel so bad. plus another mother on this site just lost her lil boy.. life is so scary,funny we never know when its going to be our time.. so please just love your life, love your grateful..please say a prayer for cynthia and her baby cheyenne.
on the good front.. emma ate about 2 tablespoons of baby food tonight i think she really liked the flavor.. this is the ONLY time she has ever reacted like this.. she was trying to chew it and even swallowing it.. I know it smelled good.. If I put it down she would wine.. which is new too.. shes so peaceful.. ow my car is about to get repossed all i can say astaloowago.. buddy.. on the good news is ssi is going to give me 2000 of her money to buy a used car.. wooohooo.. I just pray to the lemon fairies to stay away from my car.. i hopefully i can go get it tomorow.. well thinking of everyone.. oh yea emma got her 5th tooth..thats only in 3 months crazy. and she has another ear infection thats 3 in 2 months.. so ear plugs are probably in our close future.. bless and love to all..

Friday, September 26, 2008

emma and speech

well we went for our 1st speech eval at the new place, loved it.. Its a christian based therapy place and they just seem so nice.. her appointment went good.. I know as emma's mom how much she communicates.. she smiles and interacts with me but no type of verbalizations or really communicating. i dont know you guys would understand that but.. she scored at a 1-3 month old level on verbalization. so our sessions are going to somewhat focused on finding the right equiptment for her.. although it will have to be tough because she will beat something to death.. guess we cant get her a puppy. lol... nics doing good in school. I think hes gonna need glasses.. boo hoo... hes been in some type of special education since he was about 3 and a half. I guess tennesse is more strict out here.. even though he cant concentrate and complete his work in a timely matter I think there gonna drop him. unless he winds up with hearing problems.. hes failed 2 hearing tests and passed one so im still gonna get that rechecked.. other than that all is good.. still broke, fat, depressed.. but im still

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I hate the government

Express Yourself
Graphics / Myspace layouts

sorry for you sensitive folks out there... but i really do hate the govt.. they dont care about people.. if your unemployed to long you cant get help but if youve had a job for 2 weeks you cant get help in a hurry either.. they tell i have to cancel my food stamp car in south carolina to get help so i do.. now they say were not in emergency status any longer.. what the F four and half months of being unemployed is not an emergency.. my kid has flunked a hearing test and an eye exam.. is that not cause for some medicaid in a hurry... frikriloeirlakdsnfkjdbk;....

Monday, September 15, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

Well today and everyday im reminded what a total miracle emma is.. when i see pictures of other children with her syndrome..alot have passed and some are fighthing for there lives.. emma was blessed i am so thankful for her health.. she may not walk or talk or eat.. but i would have that any day over her being seriously ill.. Please pray for lil recesse.. she is really ill and has a constant battle with life.. I wine and cry about my bills and life but nothing would be worse than having a sick child.. i seriously need to check on nicholas's nerves or what ever you want to call it.. he just has no sense of handling his emotions.. he goes from 1 to 10 in 1 second flat.. he will hit himself and just go crazy.. maybe hes seriously spoiled i just dont know.. i know it tears my nerves up..

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Well so far school is going ok with nic.. were out of adhd meds so its been a chore to do work with him.. he started cub scouts this week.. can you believe the uniforms are like 100 dollars.. thats freakin crazy.. he seems to like his school though.. well we seen a pediatrician.. who sucks.. hopefully when we get to meet ours hell be nice.. we should be starting speech physical and occupational therapies soon.. still havent found anyone to order her a walker..blaa.. emma is doing really good she did have a second ear infection in 1 month.. so i might look into an ear tube.. we have to protect her one ear..she has been getting really vocal lately its so cute.. still no real baby sounds.. but hey atleast its some noise.. shes loving to stand up.. shes also liking stage 3 baby food.. not really drinking though.. we got a new fancy feeding pump renting of course.. oh yea i might be able to get a paycheck since i stay home and take care of emma.. so cool.. and emma might start school.. what i know.. its for disabled kids its only like 6 hours a week but i think it might be good for her.. of course ill check it out.. well later for now.. me and jj are ok.. well be better when we get caught up..

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Ok he worked the other job 1 day.. then got a new full time better paying more hours job.. wuuuhuuuu... i just hope he likes it.. its for a big plastics company.. now we just have to get caught up some how.. but hes employed thank goodness..

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

she knew she got something fun.. she is too cute.. its a little to big for her.. but untill we get one. this will have to do.. she also got a rifton chair from a donation center.. so awsome.. well jj finally went to work today for like a quarter of what he used to make.. i just dont know how were gonna make it.. I feel so bad for him.. he is a strong worker he puts his heart into companys and the just dont care.. he just wants to find a career he can retire from.. is there really any of those out there any more.. not sure if im liking this town.. i guess once we make some money maybe itll get better i hope.. how much bad luck can there be.. so as you pray for me and my family pray that this lil cloud will go away.. pray that emma will recover soon from her ear,uri, and yeast infection.. pray that things will turn around.. and pray that this fat role will run away from

Thursday, August 14, 2008

were settled

well were finally here and settled.. its taking alot time for his paper work to go through so no work yet.. i guess you can say were as broke as a church mouse.. nic has got a new friend already.. he started school and thinks hes the coolest,cutest and fastest boy in school.. just like his daddy. we got emma a used table, bath chair, we got a walker but it was to big and was like a torture chamber.. me and jj have been fighting alot. i think being broke with no tv really gets to ya.. but we have tv now so maybe things will get better.. i can not wait for him to go back to work and have some space... its hard to compete with superman... well ill update when i can, my hubby thinks i spend to time on the computer already even though we havent even had a back a day.... I so need an alone vacation... oh yea emma pulled her mickey out last week. she has an ear infection uri and got 2 teeth and i think shes trying to cut some more.... fun......

Monday, July 28, 2008

well good bye computer and everyone!

we leave on the 31st or the 1st. so im packing the computer tomorow..Im so looking forward to getting there and starting this new chapter.. jj called and double checked and sears said all is a go.. we got the town home we wanted, I dont think there real fancy but they look cute from online.. so everyone say a prayer our trip goes smoothly. pray that jj gets lots of work. pray that our new home is not a crap whole.. so i'll email when I can. hopefully real soon i cant live without my boyfriend, thats what the hubby calls the computer... lol.. as nancy grace would say good night my friends..

Monday, July 21, 2008

dont know what were doing.. life is crazy. the apartment fell through so were at a stand still.. bla bla bla

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

she is really chuggin

;So tennesse here we come. jj is going down this week to find a job and a place to live. hopefully no guy pad.. something i will like.. so say a prayer to the lil helper fairies to pick something good out. nic didnt eat his dinner till 10 which was pizza so he barfed all over his room and ALL over the kitchen flood at 200 in the morning.. owell you gotta love life.. oh and please please say a prayer her stander comes in this week..

Tennesse here we come!

Well I guess its official Jj is going tomorow to check things out. so I'm left here to pack and take care of the kiddo's. Im all alone no body loves me.. well we should be out of here by the 1 of aug.. so think of us..

Saturday, July 5, 2008

job not working

well the job is not working out.. it was like 90 some degrees and jj had to work on a roof.. I fully believe he had heat stroke. he was puking his muscles were cramping, it was absolutly pitiful. he broke my heart.. so I think this week jj is going to drive out to tennesse and work and check it out. we just dont know what else to do. i just hope with our credit we can get an apartment.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

job at last?

well jj finally went to work today. dont know how well this job will turn out. were still contemplating going to tennesse. ive came to the conclusion that emma is spoiled. she through a major tantrum at physical therapy today. it was nice to have my house back for a day not that i dont love the hubby but sometimes you just need a break.. well thats all for now folks..

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

still no job

well on the good note emma is doing really good and enjoying summer time.. Nicks really enjoying himself. we have become the neighborhood go to place.. which is kind of driving me nuts.. could be pms and stress though. well charlote and the surrounding area's just arent hiring or something. it has been a month. we are stressed,depressed and broken hearted. life is crazy right now. we are trying to find work in tennesse or something.. dont quite know what to do. owell if you need me email me.. we cut our phone off. kept the cells though.. well keep us in your prayers.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

still bla bla

Ok on the good note my mamogram was fine. although a friend sent me a link to a new type of breast cancer apparently a mamogram wont pick it up only an mri.. and since im broke o well.. on the bad note jj didnt get the job he wanted he held out for the better job, didnt get it now the other place isnt hiring anymore.. weve searched career builder like crazy called but no one seems to be hiring.. so life kind of sucks right now.. getting ready to loose our trailer and cars.. the bill collectors are freaking jerks.. oh and phone,cable,etc etc.. owell though.. we have our health and somewhat our insanity.. owell gotta go get emma pray for us.. heck pray for the economy,etc etc oh yea the husband is totally killin me, hes mopin, depressed how the heck am I supposed to stay in a good mood for the family when i got a major mojo killer here... blaaaaaaaaa oh yea its inflamatory breast cancer

Friday, June 20, 2008


ok im stressed tried to change emmas mickey but it is stuck like the hole has shrunk so stressed....

drama drama

well drama in the trailer park.. someone jump started there lawn mower it caught fire. nic was so excited/scared.. he grabbed our fire extengisher and took off running my 1st emergency he yelled.. so jj had to chase him.. he got home he was so proud.. am I a hero mom.. so of course i said yes.. then a rabbid fox attacked some lil girls in the trailer park.. crazy.. we went for a walk with emma in her lil push car of course not knowing there was rabbid animals on the loose.. but emma loves her lil car.. she was trying to stand up in it the whole time.. shes is doing so good.. oh yea well find out monday if jj gets the new job.. I'll probably get my mamogram results then too.. oh yea did i forget to mention i had a mamogram.. the poor lady probably left early with a back ache.. I knew they were big but when you go laying up on a table OMG... I definetly need a breast reduction.. she totally had to 2 hand it and boy was it a chore.. fun huh.. well talk with ya later

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

busting my bubble..

Well I did have a dream of mexico, of dolphins whales pina coladas. but i just recieved word my dream is not of mexico..well life kind of sucks right now.. husbands still unemployed, still broke, still depressed, still fat... well i think for my dreams and to have something to hold on to.. my mexico is a beautiful place.. i didnt say i wanted to go to tijuana.. dont rich people go to a nice pretty mexico or am i just plain wrong... I have been to tijuana yea it sucked.. oh well gonna go wollow...

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Friday, June 6, 2008

our kids are a gift..

How in the middle of such a crisis our family is in do we have huge smiles on our faces.. its the kiddies..emma has just been adorable. shes learned how to scrunch her nose and do a cutesy face..she's tried to play peek a boo with us twice, shes learned that its fun to throw your toys off the table it makes a big noice, she was so excited while sitting in her chair she stood up twice on the foot was awsome.. she was drinkin her water and giving me the eye and we even have her on video using more sign language..this girl is going to walk shes going to be smart. she loves to play with us.. she even kissed her baby doll after i kissed it.. i know to some this might not mean much.. but to me it is a miracle.. she is a true gift from god.. Im workin on doing a montage of just nicholas he feels hes left out..its probably true but he always has friends over its always something.. but looking at all his baby pics i sure wish he was little again.. i miss him having teeth, its been like 4 years since he knocked all 4 of his front teeth out.. we may be getting ready to be homeless but god thank you for our children, our lives, our health and each other.. please bless us with what ever you want us to have.. tell my babies hi for me...oh yea right after i stop the film earlier emma feel face first and busted her gums. doesnt look like she damaged anything.. so please god let her mouth be ok..

Life is like a box of melted chocolates

Well the little black rain cloud is back..JJ's trucks transmission went out on the way home from loosing his job. they say when it rains it pours.. well bring it on..can anyone say ZOLOFT...well pray for jj that he gets a new job, he is so depressed.. he was with sears as a subcontractor for 4 years.. and they just dont care about there employees I really feel subcontractors get a raw deal. but hey what do you do i guess its just life our life.. so god please let this little cloud go away.. oh yea on a good note emma is doing great, shes been using a bottle called medela soft feeder and she is so loving the ice water, im hoping speech therapy can get her somemore..


More Comments and Myspace Layouts at

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

alley mcbeal

Im so trying not to alley mcbeal my oldest no not the husband... I think i need to up the ritalin or something... can anyone say military school, nanny 911....

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I'm so going to run away to mexico..

emma is not a happy camper.. i know if i had my mouth tore open i would want something stronger than tylenol and ibuprofin.. unless she is in a upright position she is just not happy and half of that time she is ticked off to.. so i'm gonna run away to mexico all by myself.. pina coladas, whales, dolphins, peace, rest... aaaaaa.. would be nice huh

Saturday, May 31, 2008

home at last

Yes its only been one day but god it feels like longer.. is doing great today.. surgery went really good got her cleft fixed for now, got un tongue tied, and got a priacular ear pit removed... i was not looking for ward to it but im glad its over with.. i was all brave and strong until i seen her.. i swear i about passed out.. sweat just started poaring off of me..i was burning up and for a minute i had to walk away.. its so hard to see your baby like that.. i tried to prepare myself with stuff online but its just diffent when its your own.. she did not like being drugged at all she was crabby,pukey hot all last night.. but shes feeling good now so now its mommies turn to take a nap...thanks for caring for emma and your well wishes

Thursday, May 29, 2008

time is here

well tonights the night for the sleep over really not looking forward to it.. jj's in a bad mood giving me bad mojo... emma is getting ready to stop eating at 7:00 till after the surgery.. so everyone say prayers... pray for emma to be well and to be back to her normal bubbly self, pray that i dont loose it and cry all day.. pray that nicks sleep over goes very smoothley... pray that the grouch gets over his mood.. just pray that the surgery will go smoothley... I will try to update as soon as I can.. oh emma tried a squiggles stander today.. she stood in it for like 20 minutes...I swear she grew like 3 inches in it, i was so proud, she loved it and the man who delivered it... so she will probabley be getting one, unless she improves on her standing, etc before it is approved...well think of us..

Sunday, May 25, 2008

getting nervous

We'll got 4 days to go and i'm getting so nervous.. plus nick is gonna have his first sleep over the night before.. so my nerves are really gonna be tore up.. I know my kid is almost 8 and still hasnt slept anywhere yet.. i inhereted my moms paranoid genes...well im attaching a pic of emma in her new goodwill table.. thank god for

Friday, May 23, 2008

growing up just a lil?

My lil man may be growing up just a lil.. he always gets the same haircut year after year. so he decided he was gonna get a cool hair cut.. but his hair grows funny so the argued for awhile then he started to cry but i want style.. so we picked on out that he agreed on and now hes cool he can spike it or faux hawk it. hes gonna be stuck up like his daddy..owell nothing else going on except life and wanting to torture the hubby but we wont go into that... owell later

Saturday, May 17, 2008

another darn good day

well woke up about 4 in the morning to might a big dead mouse in my kichen floor.. ekkkkkkk so i go get the dh to come and get so he flushed it.. grose... just grose.. then the one in my car we cought him to.. my son nick thought it was the coolest and of cours wanting to keep it.. these darn movies making kids want rats.. athough on csi the scientist had a ear growing of the but of a rat.. it was grose.. so when emma needs any ear were going a different route..damn i hate mice.. beatiful day today. nic and brian made a hill slide off emmas wheechair ramp.. all the neighbor kids love it...ow well hope all is well in the world today. pray for jackie who is sick.. pray for michelle who has cancer and cant get any help.. pray for emma that her surgery will go great.. she will heal quickly and get back to being her lil emma nu self. love to all...


Toes in the sand

Bahama's princess

Bahama's princess
make a wish 2013



i love u

i love u

Emma in the nicu

Emma in the nicu