Sunday, December 27, 2009


Well we have had a fairly good christmas. Emma got her hearing aide! I had no idea how bad she was hearing until I say her face light up with her hearing aide. The best way I can describe it is to say it was like and is like watching an autistic child wake up. everything has been exciting for her and for me to watch. Dont run out of meds when your child gets a I have been a mess.. nicks insurance got cut off so he is out of meds till the 1st of the year so its been fun with him too. he had good christmas with getting a wii. its holiday time that we realize how alone we really are. In south carolina we always ate with neighbors. we are happy just being us but sometimes it gets to be to much. like right now nick is laying in the floor crying I hate my life. How many times must a child jump from bed to bed and fall before he stops. maybe when something is broken. he doesnt cry like a normal 9 year old. his autism or what ever it is is getting on my nerves. this boy will not wear clothes. whats that boy on snl thats in his undies all the time..stewey? It can be overwhelming at times and i'm tired of begging for clothes.
I'm trying to pick out schools for emma my choice is between 2. I have to figure out full or part day. Im so conflicted. no one has ever taken care of emma. will she handle being away that long will they feed her right. I know that I need the break. I have lots of excersise planned when she goes. but its all very stressfull. well. I will keep you all posted on her hearing and all. its a true expensive one..thanks holidays to you all. if you have not seen the video of emma hearing yet. the link is right below..

My Montage 12/26/09 at

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

having a special child.

you know one thing I hate to hear is bless your heart or i'm so sorry..when i tell them what goes on with just erks on the other hand have been awsome. they are starting to notice her ear now.. so it makes for unusual where did her ear go..I just told her god kept and shell get a new one in a couple years. then another lil boys came up and said aaaaaaaaa look at her lil ear its so cute.. can i hold her..I didnt let him hold her..but it was so sweet..I just wish adults would ask questions instead of gonna find a bib for emma takes a pic it last longer. or do you think your stares will cure me..


So first off I lost my super women cape..I have been a sack think I need to go back to zoloft..or I hate driving or something. take nic to school then go 20 minutes to another town and either drop her off and come back 2 hours later or do therapies this is 4 days a week. plus nick was doing horse therapy for a month. which he really enjoyed thought he was the king..of riding.. he has been a handful.. I forgot to get his meds appt on thurs. so fri they dont do those appts so we were with out meds for like 5 days it was was like watching someone come down off happy pills or something.. I really thought he lost his mind one morning we were at the car place getting my car fixed.. he was nuts.. came out of the bathroom with what appeared to be his tshirt and under wear.. I really went into a life before my eyes kind of moment..then quickly what the heck r thinking nick put your freakin pants on..he had his pants pulled all the way up so i couldnt see my life has been was emmbarrasing and hillarious.
growing up I always thought when i have kids they are going to mind me, when I have kids i will loose all the weight..hmmm guess life is showing me know..
emma is doing great..still really no talking just her usuall yea..I wait for it but it doesnt come. I find it ironic that my favorite books of all time was hellen keller i read them all the time.. now i have a child like her in ways..
so we are getting ready to set up and plan for next for emma.. I have to choose between two schools one with more money and a title or one with a very small class and a great teacher.. its going to be so hard to go to 2 schools. its going to be so hard to turn my life over to someone else. the what ifs will they feed her properly will they put her on the toilet..i'm gonna freak out when the time comes... shes not been doing so well in her walker she jsut wants to sit in it. if she wants to walk she wants you to be holding under her arms..princess..we had fun at halloween loved the pics of the kids..actually got to be a family day for us.. well emma has ear tube surgery on wed and an abr hearing test while shes sleepin. so pray it goes ok..

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

emanuel syndrome sucks..

emma got her report where the do the what age she acts like in this and that.. She was basically from 6 months to 9 months. she did have a 1 month it was in communication. I wish she could just talk to me..I miss baby babble..although Nick does make up for her in the speech dept.. lol..i'm pretty ok with her disablilty. I dont grieve it to much when I see other lil girls its like i'm numb to it. but theres times I do get sad. other than that she is loving school..she has a lil girlfriend at school who is disabled also, they always pair them together they both dont talk but will smile at each other.. they have a rice box full of rice they always play intogether..well anyways.. her mom bought emma a lil neckalce. its a best friend necklace and they each were one. I thought it was just the sweetest thing ever to do. If she would have caught me on the right day I totally would have cried.. So on my behalf. my social anxiety seems to be getting worse. dont know whats that all about. I have alot to say but some how it only comes out in my head and I just am silenced. I know it must seem awkward, hopefully people jsut think im shy not rude..

Nick is doing good he has started horse therapy. of course he loves and thinks hes the best rider in the he's getting a lil conceited its really hillarious. he got a hair cut yesterday and picked a celebrities and now he thinks he looks like the guy..funny..other than that not much..still dreaming of an extreme home an alone vacation..

Thursday, August 20, 2009

our vacation

Thank you to camp new hope for giving us a great vacation something we could not have afforded with out your help. you are awsome.

So are vacation was so awsome.. I cant wait till the year is up to do it again. The boys tubed down the river over and over they fished, we got to swim in the river, thats really the only hing i got to do . I could have done more but I feel I play with emma best when it comes to the both of us. not to mean to him he is a great dad. but I just am more fun for her and I figured nick wanted daddy anyways. We got to drive a bob cat everywhere which was fun emma loved the that. My favorite part was the 5 bedroom 3 bath house. No toys everywhere, equiptment.. we live in a 2 bedroom duplex, so we are lacking on the room. so now my dream of being a homeowner is even worse now. so now we have to really file bankruptsy. It was great to see my family even if I am a cow..I didnt want to go home being so big but its life I guess..

emma is still doing really well with her swim therapy its so cute..shes got so much personality for such a quite child. and shes gonna have to join tvs anonomouse{how ever you spell that} she has really regressed alot on eating but with her feeding therapy is actually trialing peanut butter..which is great but i cant bring myself to try it. it just seems dangerous. Her chair got approved just waiting for it to come i'm very excited shes never had anything new. shes a second hand gal. weve realized lately that she loves her bed..she will not fall asleep almost at all now. but you put her in her bed and she rolls right over grabs her bars and passes out its the cutest thing next i'm gonna try for a new bed again. of course after we fight the potty chair..fight fight bla..

ps my friend michelle is still fighting her health issues, shes has yet to be taken care of properly by a doct, with her cancer. she was getting ready to have a hysterectomy and now shes pregnant with twins, but one them have passed on. so if you could pray for her. she is in a really tough spot. pray for healing and strength.. I love you michelle ..i'm so sorry all this is happening to you. I wish I could be there for you..

Friday, August 7, 2009

going out of town..woohoo

well im kind of excited to be going out of town.. not so excited about the 7 hour drive to get there. we are going to nc,wv and va..ow thats alot of traveling.. we are getting a totally free vacation. These 2 brothers have a big ole cabin on the lake an let people with special needs kids stay there totally free THEY EVEN BUY YOUR FOOD.. how awsome is that..even more awsome for me is they cook one meal a day for you..WHAT jj does not cook so we have to go out to im excited..

its a 5 bedroom cabin on the lake it is fat people, fishing, swimming, deer, bobcats what no thanks on that one.. but we will have fun.. it has been 2 years and 4 months since ive seen my parents. and about 3 since weve seen all the were not to happy about going home big as a house..but owell shit happens..

so say a prayer for us for safe travels..for emma not to get sick like i think she is starting to..and pray we do not here are we there yet 1 million so dont miss me too much..if there is someone out there that reads this..later.. did i mention its for almost a week..haaaaahaaa attached are some pics of were we going so beatiful..

Monday, July 27, 2009

nicks genetics are back...

Well I got nicks genetics test back and all is well with most of it.. but unfortunatly he does have a balanced translocation like me.. Can I just say I am so sad. I always dreamed of having kids, doing the normal adolesant things that they do, girlfriends boyfriends heartbreaks. now I may not even get grandchildren. I feel like a bad egg.. Why did this happen to me.. Dont get me wrong I LOVE MY KIDS MORE THAN MY LIFE.. but couldnt this have just skipped him. why can he just have a happy normal life. You know we dont have family not really everyone lives away. So one fear we have is who will take care of our children, especially emma will this fall to nick if he is old enough, now will nick have children or children like emma..doesnt he have enough to worry about than to have this my moto for the day...BLA BLA BLA....PS SORRY FOR THE CUS WORDS BUT i NEEDED IT..

Saturday, July 25, 2009

the meaning of emanuel

I thought this was neat..because as you all know emma has emanuel syndrome.


Pronunciation: (i-man'yOO-ul), [key]
a male given name: from a Hebrew word meaning “God is with us.”

I love the meaning of names.

Emma means whole, universal.

So heres my point of view. emma who has lots of problems, maybe because she is a lil broken, maybe..since god is with us, she is whole..this is emma..she is supposed be.. did that make sence.. emma also is a form of emanuelle. I think that is neat since i had no clue she had emanuel syndrome.. Its like a lil circle.. ok.. yea I have my crazy brain on today..

Friday, July 10, 2009

emma's new swing


NEVER HAS EMMA LIKED TUMMY TIME UNTIL NOW..ITS CALLED A WINGBO.. IT IS PRICEY..200.00 but if you say your from melissa's group on special child exchange you can get 10.00 off. from the second I put her in it she was happy.. I have to say I did cry a lil..I never thought she would do tummy time.. that has to come before walking.. i think the website is so get one people..

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

bound by chains

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So this post is kind of in reference to so you think you can dance..They did a dance tonight that reminds me of my life. the couple was chained together with a chain. GOOD GOD.. this week I feel I have 3 attached to me. I seriously need a break, a breather alone time and not in the middle of the night..
I LOVE LOVE MY FAMILY. but good golley they are clingey.. alot of people have family an friends around. its mainly us 4. we are bound, by love, stress. I live for them.. but I really just need a break..emma loves so you think you can dance.. If I hold her up she will dance like a crazy women its so cute.. I would get it on video but mommy so is not gonna be in it..I think this week i'm gonna take a break from everything. Im just not feeling well..My back hurts,my head I keep getting dizzy spells and IM REALLY FREAKIN STRESSED. So now I will go back to my lovely chained life..and hope the stress will go away soon.. maybe being lazy this week will do me some good. who knows maybe a miracle will happen and my hubby will let me go to the movies by myself..ha ha...seriously people if I'm gone for 1 hour..the world as they know has come to an end..

It Feels Like Monday
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

small update

SO weve had a million appointments this week..of course she has another ear infection,plus a yeast they ever go away.. so this time were gonna try ear drops for 2 months. that seems like a long time to me..but hey if it works..well when we go back in 2 months if her ear is still full of liquid and puss, were going to see the hearing aide specialist about a BAHA SOFT BAND. if its clear we will postpone it for awhile. although if its up to me, i would just keep the appointment. for the past year emma has not had an unclogged or uninfected ear, which means shes not hearing much. since she only has 1 ear its crusial for her to be able to hear. So i'm being a lil pushy with the ent. I would like for her specialist to be a lil more helpful..just urks me..

her new milk is doing her good shes almost to 26 pounds and 34 and half inches..big girl..with the bed and the milk she almost never pukes anymore, life is good.. So i'm trying to get her into a new therapy called vital stim. Its for people who have trouble eating,drinking,drooling. they put electrodes on there neck and its supposed to help in the teaching process.. hopefully I can find someone close enough.. well thats about it..

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Being a special needs mom

So today I'm having a bla day. some times I get so tired of going to dr's. Just to hear the when did your baby roll over, crawl walk, talk, etc freakin etc. I really hate the term retarted and hate severly retarted even more. Emma can not do these things, but she can play a toy with all her heart she will pound on her piano like there is no tomorow. She must understand things because she loves veggie tales, spongebob she laughs when things are funny. I wish I could just burn that R word. She does understand things she just cant communicate them. Sometimes she wants to talk so bad she just tries to pull her hair out. YES I understand that she is behind and is damaged in a way. But she is so smart in her own ways. why does it have to be compared to text book. MY GIRL IS FUNNY, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, A MIRACLE, sometimes when she looks into your eyes its like shes looking beyond to my heart, I know its so cheesy but I just cry. no ones ever looked at me the way she does, I do feel special and important. One day my girl is gonna walk, she may never talk but We will try everyday and hope for a miracle. I hope one day she will get to eat a taco.. I know how weird am I, but i'm a cali girl and just always thought my child would eat like me..You know I just want her to reach her full potential. I want people to knwo her to know how special she is and not to be scared of her. Sometimes when we go to walmart I just want to head but someone, why do people have to stare.. SO FREAKIN WHAT SHE HAS ONE EAR..she is no different than your child infact she may even be a BIGGER MIRACLE..yes i'm stressed. I'm just tired of the books and the looks.. you know what I mean.. LOOK AT THAT SMILE PEOPLE i JUST CANT GET ENOUGH OF IT..

Friday, June 5, 2009

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

not much..



Wednesday, May 20, 2009



asbergers/autism finally an answer!

Well I had an hour and half meeting at the school for nic today and finally got an answer. His doctor had already said what he thought it was but was waiting for the school to give there answer.. So now our goals switch from learning and adhd to autism/asbergers. I'm so glad to have an answer to all his lil issues. I was really starting to think just bad parenting skills or something..Plus normally he's really different at school than home. but we all came back with the same issues. So now im gonna look into some camps on social skills maybe anger management or something. Atleast now I know he doesnt mean to be a

I am a little sad that I was right about him not making friends.. for years now I have tried to tell the teachers about his friend issues and someone finally sat down and watched..For 2 years in south carolina I would sit in my car and cry for my child hiding under the slide. Its so hard to see your child feel sad and lonely. I want the world for him. He is a great kid he would do anything for anyone he just doesnt know how to step forward and say hello..does that make sense. If someone bumps him he thinks they did it on purpose. so mom and nick have alot to work on this summer..

ps emma has found her tongue its so cute she keeps sticking it out and to the side totally cute..1 more day of school for nick....bahahaaaaa.. please pray for peace in my family..that I have patience and love when needed..for emma to keep feeling better. and for nic to find a friend that understands and excepts him..

Sunday, May 17, 2009

pics and video

so there are couple new things going on this week.. medicaid turned down a bed, the appeal and the fair hearing they said that the dr screwed up the order so I have to start all over..but the good news is I found a bed online on craigslist for very cheap.. and it is working out great.. the only thing I dont like is she likes to stick her arms and legs out the side so if she gains to much weight we might have a problem.. We are changing course with her gait trainer we took the seat off and added the arms so now were going into kick mode with her..shes not eating right now so we have to try to get her to start eating again since she is feeling good..again..oh yea shes also wearing this thing called a benik vest to help with her low tone so well see how all this goes.. guess thats it for now..

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

american idol and alley

Ok 1st off i'm sending some good luck vibes to kris allen on american idol..he's totally my choise.. I know adam rocks and he is the king of rock.. an danny is good and warms my heart and makes me cry cause hes a but kris is awsome..tell me hes not.. do you here that song on my page..hopefully my good luck vibes dont send my lil black cloud his way.. my and my hubby love american idol..

on the good note emma started 2 days a week for school. and she really seems to enjoy it.. her gait trainer makes her the popular are always all over her when I go there.. its so cute..she is feeling much better these past few days thank god..

on the other note.. nic is really testing us.. I just dont understand why he is an angel at school but at home he's crazy. I cant get him to do anything.. everything is a fight..I took his games away a month ago. he asks daily for them but still will not listen to get them back..anyone who read this used to be an alley mcbeal fan..well if so I alley mcbeal him in my head daily..I have taken to a stress pill once daily to try to be patient with him.. so my prayer for this week is let me have patience and lots of love for him..because in my head I shake him daily..only in the alley mcbeal sense..please god let me figure out something with him.. because he is not even 9 yet. and if we have to deal with this until hes a teenager, it will probably get worse. and i dont think me and daddy will live through it.. at least not with a full head of hair, a twitching eye and no nerves left..

Sunday, May 10, 2009


Most women became mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes.

"Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecilia. Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter?"

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles, "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect.

She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Mama' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
author unknown.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

asking for some healing prayers..

Well she is sick again or still sick.. it kind of switches so I dont know if its coming or going..she had the ear infection, which made her poo blood from the antibiotics, then after the ear healed she got gastristis which now has changed over into a horrible cough.. I seriously need to find a new doctor or something. because I dont know is it normal for a child to be this sick all the time, I know she has an extra chromosome but does that make her be sick more I just dont know. I really feel she needs steroids or something..I'm gonna try to figure something out to boost her imune system.. cause this bites. SO PLEASE EVERYONE SAY A PRAYER FOR HER TO BE BETTER TO HEAL FROM ALL THIS SICKNESS. FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE HER SERIOUS ABOUT HER LAZY EYE, ABOUT HER HEALTH. life is so scarey.

Monday, April 20, 2009

another ear infection

Well we are once again fighting an ear infection.. and now day 2 of antibiotics she has bloody poo 2 times.. so were back to the doctor tomorow.. its probably just the antibiotics but i get so worried, I keep thinking what if something is wrong because she had malrotation surgery when she was a baby what if something is wrong.. well guess i'll have to ask the docts please pray for her she has been puking, diarea, her lazy eye gets worse when shes feeling bad and now this.. so just pray.. pray that the bed gets approved on my appeal because if i dont get some sleep soon i'm gonna have a heart attack.. and poor emma she just coughs all night and gags and pukes..she deserves to sleep good..

Friday, March 27, 2009

twilight addict

Ok lets 1st start emma has still been doing her lazy eye thing.. I took her to the doctor and she didnt do it the whole time we were he said it was fine but i could get a second opinon..that it could be neorological too but he doughted it so im going to try to get her in to see a neorologist soon..other than that all is good..

On the good bad note im seriously addicted to twilight..I say the movie and read #1 in a day and a half on #2 and feeling weepy.. seriously it is so sad i hope it gets better.. crying over a book yup im nuts..I dont want to parent or sleep I just want to read.. yes i am crazy if you see the pic..

Sunday, March 22, 2009

sick again

Well she is sick again.. my poor baby..well poor me too i'm so tired of being pucked on..I'm trying to get her in to see the eye doctor but of course our luck hes on freakin vacation..Emma is having problems with her eyes.. shes been getting a lazy eye and you can tell she knows something is wrong or it feels weird or hurts I dont know..she just rubs it all the time..this just really sucks..she has so many problems why does it have to mess with her eyes.. The last eye doct said she had some far siteedness in her right eye but it was bad enough for glasses.. I'm wondering now if she will need glasses... do you even know how hard it is to keep glasses on a 1 eared baby..If she does get them I might push for a prosthetic ear early.. thats the route were gonna take later, I think the earliest is 3..dont know if they could do it early but I'm gonna try.. oh yea the bed was denied, theyll buy her a reflux wedge that shes too big for..hello dip shit government.. i've bought all the wedges and a matress..I wish they could come over for a day or two and get pucked on see how easy it is.. owell.. pray for emma that her eye can get fixed easily..pray this upper respritoy infection or what ever will just go away and not come back..

Saturday, March 14, 2009

boo hoo

well I didnt post this before but i was trying to get emma a bed and of course they denied it..they said they would buy me a sling, which she is too big for.. I hate to battle things, I hate confrontation so I dont know what to do..I have tried wedges,reflux mattresses.. she doesnt have reflux anymore. but she has chronic ear infections and she doesnt swallow her spit good at night she blows bubbles and makes spit foam.. and like 4 times a week she wakes up puking snot and spit. ow well guess i'll never get any sleep.. Ive taken her mattress apart and built up a lil bed in my bed.. but she needs constant repositioning.. owell.

ok one more thing that urks me.. our local park built a huge skate park for skate boarders but they cant buy a special needs swing and there all out of money for like 3 more years.. just pisses me off..

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

i'm a slacker

Well ive come to the conclusion I'm a slacker.. I do work with emma alot at home but if she cries I dont push her who wants to make there baby cry... if i could just get over it she would probably be alot more along than she is.. if you put her on tummy time or something similar she holds her breath when she cries and gets lil broken blood vessels its just really stressful..

well this week has pretty much sucked.. I live in a duplex and i'm not fond of my neighbors allthough ive never met them.. there parking is on the back side, but they send there people to are drive way and park in my front yard.. who does this.. i would we came to the conlusion that they are dealing drugs and shuffling the trafic to our drive way, we cant just come out and accuse someone.. but now we have proof.. 3 cop cars in my driveway..pounding on there door at 12;30 at night..they had already arrested the son for I think pot..they were very loud standing at my door. talking about it all and said they were gonna get a warrant.. So i was freaked out all night..because the duplex the only thing that seperates us is a locked i was pretty mad..then today a bad car crash right in front of the house it was the most horrible sound, 2 kids from the high school apperently it happens here alot.. crazy..

well I got depressed seen myself on video today.. my boobs are just unreal there like freakin watermelons, its no wonder why my back hurts.. god i wish i could get them cut off.. that has been my dream since about the age of 16.. yes this is a life long issue..but no insurance so im just freakin cursed.. I wish I could join the gym, i wish i could afford healthy food etc etc etc.. you know but obamas lil stimulas plan is more worried about making a freakin pig farm smell better or building a train that runs from disney land to las vegas..just freakin unreal.. well if you can pray for us I would appreciate it..

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

One reason its good to be poor..

The reason is :::: emma can get all the therapy she can handle.. So i was traveling an hour away for her therapies, but ive switched everything this week now we drive 20 minutes.. thank goodness cause that trip is tiring.. So emma is gonna start aqua therapy which i'm so excited about..shes gonna have that, regular pt, ot, and speech/feeding therapy.. I already love these people and we have only done the evals. Emma does not like anyone touching her hands or arms which is called tactile sensitivity. They tried to get her to play with rice and she really wanted to I could tell so For the past week at home that has been her favorite thing to play with that and beans she stretchs her arm into and just digs.. So warm weather is going to be fun..I gotta get her a sand box..

So the therapist had her stand at a regular walker/ like the kind the elderly use..she strapped one hand and held the other,I totally was freaked out the whole time I thought she was going to face plant but she didnt she took like 15 steps or atleast it seemed like that much.. I later cried alil because that is just so good, her therapist said i'm gonna get this girl walkin and I believe it..some people take for granted things like walking, I was really just so proud..we pick up her afo's (feet braces) next week and were gonna look into something called theratogs, its some type of body suit for low toned kids..

also we I mean emma and nic have been excepted to the littlest hero's project hopefully that link works..but they take pictures of disabled and kids with problems such as autism.. when that happens i will post..

ok now on nicholas oh my god.. I have had to try to stay sain this week. I did have a 24 melt down sometimes he can be so difficult. I know he doesnt mean to, so i did have guilt over my lil break.. I feel bad for him, I wish we could hurry up and figure out what is wrong with him. we have a for sure adhd, a possible asbergers, but now were looking into bipolar(he gets that from daddies side lol).. so he had a major meltdown in front of his lil friend and i believe it scared him he called his mom an went home.. that is when the breakdown started. I hate to see him hurting, sometimes he feels so unloved he really hasnt made any friends since weve been here and now to scare this one sent him into a depression. I really just hope the kid comes back. I havent got the courage to call him mom yet, depression sucks. we miss his old friend from sc. i wish we could adopt him. he was always there for nic, during meltdowns anger issues or what ever he was a great lil guy.. well pray for us especially pray for us to find answers to help nic.. pray that with jjs hours cut at work that we can make it.. pray just for us..

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

my lil sensitive child

lordy lordy.. my eye twitch is in full bloom today..I thought nick was feeling better to go back to school today.. but an hour of yelling i'm blind, my toothbrush is covered in hair (no there was no hair) my stupid pants etc etc.. I decided maybe he wasnt ready to go back to school today.. some days I really feel I could use a nerve pill.. so I'm attaching a pic he drew a couple weeks ago.. his other fish aka silvey died so i ran to walmart and got a new now silvey will live forever or as long as walmart carries that color.. but with him being the dramatic sensitive child he is, i felt it was in all of our best interest..I never would have thought I would do that but if you had to here it you would too.. PS HE HUNG THIS OVER OUR TOILET

Saturday, February 21, 2009

teachers, potty training

Ok first I would like to start out by saying errrrr.. thats to nicks teachers. I have discussed about nicholas and being forgetful, adhd has ahold of him alot, he cant concentrate half the time.. he doesnt hear half of what you say because yea HE IS NOT FOCUCED. any teacher that knows about adhd or asbergers all know that kids can not focus.. so every week a couple times a week.. I feel I get sculded by the teacher for not completing work..every day we do homework read books etc etc. At the 1st of the school year his teacher said he would only have 1 sheet aday.. he gets 3 alot.. is it my fault he cant remember to bring work home..its my responsibilty to do work at home..but shouldnt she be giving him a lil extra nudge to bring stuff home. i know he has to have accountability, but have the time hes not listening to her.. it just urks me.. like im a bad parent they way she comes to the car to tell me this with her lil smirk on her face..
ok secondly.. i got emma a potty chair not to potty train her but to let her butt air out..shes had a horrible but rash for weeks and im tired of digging poo from a towel.. but for 2 days now shes pooed like 4 times and peed several times.. she doesnt really know what shes doing, but shes doing it so im just gonna keep it up.. yea.. oh ps were does emma get her sleep face


Toes in the sand

Bahama's princess

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Emma in the nicu

Emma in the nicu