this is my favorite

HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

A meeting was held quite far from Earth

It was time again for another birth.

Said the Angels to the Lord above –

“This special child will need much love.

“Her progress may be very slow

“Accomplishment she may not show.

“And she'll require extra care

“From the folks she meets down there.

“She may not run or laugh or play

“Her thoughts may seem quite far away

“So many times she will be labeled

“'different,' 'helpless' and disabled.

“So, let's be careful where she's sent.

“We want her life to be content.

“Please, Lord, find the parents who

“Will do a special job for you.

“They will not realize right away

“The leading role they are asked to play.

“But with this child sent from above

“Comes stronger faith, and richer love.

“And soon they'll know the privilege given

“In caring for their gift from heaven.

“Their precious charge, so meek and mild

“Is heaven's very special child.”

stolen from makilys page

JOHN 9: 1-3
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.
His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."


how beatiful is that...

> What Makes a Mother
> Jennifer Wasik
> In memory of Zachery Wasik
> 1/29/98-1/29/98
>
> I thought of you and closed my eyes
> And prayed to God today.
> I asked what makes a Mother
> And I know I heard him say.
> A Mother has a baby
> This we know is true.
> But God can you be a Mother
> When your baby's not with you?
> Yes, you can He replied
> With confidence in His voice
> I give many women babies
> When they leave is not their choice.
> Some I send for a lifetime
> And others for a day.
> And some I send to feel your womb
> But there's no need to stay
> I just don't understand this, God
> I want my baby here
> He took a breath and cleared His throat
> And then I saw a tear.
> I wish I could show you
> What your child is doing today.
> If you could see your child smile
> With other children and say
> "We go to earth to learn our lessons
> Of love and life and fear.
> My Mommy loved me oh so much
> I got to come straight here.
> I feel so lucky to have a Mom
> Who had so much love for me
> I learned my lesson very quickly
> My mommy set me free.
> I miss my Mommy oh so much
> But I visit her each day.
> When she goes to sleep
> On her pillow's where I lay.
> I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
> And whisper in her ear.
> Mommy don't be sad today
> I'm your baby and I'm here."
> So you see my dear sweet one
> Your children are ok
> Your babies are here in My home
> And this is where they'll stay.
> They'll wait for you with Me
> Until your lesson is through.
> And on the day that you come home
> They'll be at the gates for you.
> So now you see what makes a Mother
> It's the feeling in your heart.
> It's the love you had so much of
> Right from the very start.
> Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,
> Until their time is done.
> They'll be up here with Me one day
> And you know you're the best one!
>
>
>
>

for all the special moms

Butterfly Kisses


"I'll lend to you for a little time,
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to love while she lives
And mourn for when she's dead."

"It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call her back,
Take care of her for me?"

"She'll bring her charms to gladden you
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have these precious memories
To comfort you through grief."

"I cannot promise she will stay
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn."

"I've looked this world over,
In my search for teachers true.
In the crowds of this great land,
I have selected you."

"Now will you give her all your love
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take her back again?"



It seems to me I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joys a child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run."

"We'll shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay."

"And should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."

© Edgar A. Guest



/

words of a poet

Well today has been a good day. Sometimes when we go out in public I like to watch peoples faces. when i'm alone i just feel insecure when people look at me, and think why are they looking at me. you dont get a whole lot of smiles these days.. but when I have emma with me. I can see people look at her, and look at her ear. I know the wonder in there eye. they look at me as if the've been caught. and i just want to explain to them its ok and tell them about her. but instead I just smile, I get a million smiles when she is with me. I dont know if its for wondering about her or feeling sorry for me. but only if they could know her the way that we do.

she is so smart and funny and happy. yes she only has one ear. but she is a miracle. I feel so inspired today i visited a blog. she has been where I have been in pain over loss in pregnancy. but this lady has faith, and words that I have never experienced. Its as if reading a poem, even better than a harry potter book. maybe im just mooshey today I dont know. she recently lost a child I hope and pray that she will feel better soon.

well cleft surgery #1 is may 30th not looking forward to that. we dont have a big support system over here. we live away from our family so im hoping some neighbors will keep nic for us..well keep emma in your thoughts and prayers. and visit this womens blog she is an inspiration.. http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com

surgery scheduled

may 30 is the day people.. totally freakin out like it was tomorow or something. heres some new pics..

My Guestbook

surgery almost scheduled

well its either going to be may 30 or june 5.. im hoping may because school gets out on june 5 maybe a neighbor will step up and help. i dont know.. i sure dont want to take him with us.. he is way to hyper and unruley.. this day is going to be so stressful i dont know how im going to sleep or anything.. weve had a great year with emma. no hospital visits, except the abr witch they put her to sleep for.. but nothing serious.. so this is going to be a change..

so have any of you used the snuggle wraps, for the arms for cleft repair.. my doc says tube socks and I just dont think emma will appreciate that to much she is a hot flasher like her mommy.. well guess i will go drown in my sorrows over this.. i know its a good thing but its still scarey..

my sweet lil man?

this is a letter nic wrote emma when she was in the nicu, just thought i would share it. we seriously couldnt read it aloud for like 2 weeks, my boy is so sweet, hes just got some spoiled, and jeolusy issues..

old friends

ive talked to some old friends the past few days, 1 is more like a sister.. they both need some prayers.. one has really bad lyme disease and has not felt good at all for a year.. the other is a mom with four kids who just found out she has cancer.. she has really had a time in life. one of her children had cancer I believe it to 2 times. another one has a sydrome.. she is such a brave person and i cant believe this is happening to her.. I really think us california girls just have issues. were all social anxietied, depressed, dont know what to do with ourselves crazy people.. maybe it was the calif. water to close to mexico..

any how my brain is just going and going.. im crazy i tell ya.. emma is only 1, she could walk or crawl i dont know.. but i am obsesvilly looking on the internet for wheelchairs/strollers., standers, gait trainers, you name it i look guess its good were poor cuz our lil trailer would be full of stuff. i just dont know the age what age do you start to look. i think if i had a map on the wall with dates i would be better.. im half crazy ocd add.. i cant clean i get to unfocused then i want to reaarange crazy i tell ya... owell of to bed to let my head slow down some... oh yeaa.

emmas good.. hemaglobin good got checked at wic today.. almost 22 pounds 30 and half inches tall.. shes a big girl.. this week has been hell TGIF i have doc appt for emma all week and an iep for my son.. crazy oh to be young and skinny again.