pulp fiction

i think we've all seen the movie pulp fiction, well the part were he has to stab her in the chest to save her.. well thats how i feel everytime i change a mickey button.. its kind of a high.. i know after ward i feel so relieved and stressed and proud. who would have ever thought i would do something like that.. i owe my courage to zoloft.. i swear before z i would cry if i ran over a butterfly.. well thought the button was infected so i took her to the doc. her defenitly smelled it but the button looks great.. so he does a cdc? i think thats what its called.. well it took along time to get blood. so they came back and said they thought the test was bad.. lets do another one. he said if the first was right she would have to go directly to the hospital. but the 2nd came back fine. my problem is how do we know which one is write. the first could be cancer or something bad if it was a good test. how am i supposed to say ok i believe the second one.. so shes going to the GI doc tomorow and the plastic surgeon.. woo hoo fun day..I will not leave the GI with out some answers and hopefully a drink for emma to tolerate.. poor thing did not like the pediasure. constipated, puking, patikia could be allergies, cancer, bowel bleeding could be nothing.. im sure all is fine.. i guess this is why i have trouble sleepin... the what ifs.... they suck